Hi fellow bipolar sufferers,

I apologize for the lag between my last post and this one.  You know how things go.  I hope I’m not the only BP sufferer who gets on crazed projects then run out of steam mid-project and konk out.  Anyhow, there have been quite a few developments since the last time that I’ve posted.

First off, I am freshly in a relationship, which means that the brain chemistry of yours truly will likely spike and dip even more than usual.  I’ll have to share with you my crazy antics when I have a bit more time to type.  In the meanwhile, on the drugs front, I’m happy to say that I am doing well on my 500 MG of Depakote, which seems to be doing wonders for preventing me from going sky high.  My body has also adjusted to the drug, meaning that I am starting to get my metabolism back.  A bout of food poisoning a couple of weeks ago has helped me to rein in my out of control appetite, meaning that I’ve actually managed to lose some weight!  Whoo-hoo!  I’m exercising very sporadically, but at least I am getting off my tush every once in a while.

The only worrying thing, is that, it appears as if I am unable to sleep on my own without the aid of a sleeping aid.  I’ve learned that sleeping problems plague those with bipolar disorder.  For me, that is definitely the case.  Thank goodness, I can still manage to sleep using trazadone (an older class of antidepressant), and not a “typical” sleeping pill.  The last thing I need is to become dependent on a sleeping aid.

As for my employment front.  I am ashamed to say that I am still very much underemployed and am still waiting to find a position where I will be intellectually challenged.  I’m an attorney working as a paralegal, quite humbling for my ego.

Well, I’m glad to be back, whoever is reading this.

Well, cynics of the world, you are proven right again.  Just when I thought I had met a person that I had some sort of long-term potential with, he busts out with a “I don’t think I’ve gotten over my ex-girlfriend thing.”  *Sigh*  Back to the drawing board.  We’re still talking these days, but in my experience, the rebounds never tend to work out, so I’m not holding my breath or anything.  It sucks to be cynical, it’s even worse when you are given support in your cynicism.  And this guy was sooo good looking!  Guess the anti-pretzel will have to go back to the drawing board and take her dad’s advice to heart: don’t trust the good looking guys, they tend not to stick around, oh how true, how true!  Spoken from the mouth of someone who knows. 

This is where being a rapid-cycler sort of bipolar helps, I mentally force myself not to dwell on the matter, delete the relevant contact info so I’m not tempted to make a fool of myself, and focus on other more interesting things.

Got myself a new parrot recently, he is a cutie pie at 3 months old or so.  Can’t grab on too tightly yet, so I have to keep an eye out on him.  Here’s a pic!

Have you noticed that there tends to be advantages and disadvantages associated with any particular event?  Well, I for one have noticed the co-occurrence of this phenomenon.  This is the situation that has given rise to this particular post: after a relative dry spell as far as dating goes, I am happy to announce that I may have stumbled across someone that I may experience some success and compatibility with.  I met this individual by way of my usual means of meeting both eligible and ineligible bachelors: Craigslist (which, incidentally has proven to be both a curse and a blessing all rolled into one).  Anyhow, this individual happens to be very easy on the eyes, as well as being possessed of a seemingly good personality to accompany the said good looks.

Although I have yet to share with this person the fact that I am bipolar, I have gone into fairly intricate detail as far as my penchant for collecting animals and the fact that I am messy beyond what the word usually conveys.   Yet, he has taken these declarations in stride.

Here’s the thing.  When I find myself with him, he seems quite eager to express his interest in me by caresses and gentle kisses to my head.  He also expresses a very endearing hint of vulnerability by the occasional seeking of approval on my part regarding his clothing choices or various aspects of his looks.  I find that very cute.  However, once we are back in our respective spheres, he is not so good about staying in contact or expressing verbally his interest for me.  He is also not a verbally expressive person in the flesh as well.  Which for an obsessive analyzer of every minute detail, proves to be problematic, as I am spending an inordinate amount of time obsessing over whether or not he is actually interested in me, or whether he has been feeding me a mass of mechanical responses which he knows will get me hook, line, and sinker.

Or, whether, being a normal person, and considering the fact that we have only seen each other a total of four times, he is behaving in a totally rational manner by not texting me every other minute.

What I wouldn’t give to be like your average, emotionally balanced individual that would take these things in stride and have some measure of patience in letting things take their natural course, in their due time.  *sigh*  Instead, I am doomed to spend more time than is healthy obsessing over whether this guy is for real or falls into the player category of men.

Guess I will be filling the internet void in on any future developments.  Wish me luck!  I haven’t been involved in a meaningful relationship in a long time and sure could use an emotional support right about now!