It’s so goshdarned hard to be non-obsessive!
Have you noticed that there tends to be advantages and disadvantages associated with any particular event? Well, I for one have noticed the co-occurrence of this phenomenon. This is the situation that has given rise to this particular post: after a relative dry spell as far as dating goes, I am happy to announce that I may have stumbled across someone that I may experience some success and compatibility with. I met this individual by way of my usual means of meeting both eligible and ineligible bachelors: Craigslist (which, incidentally has proven to be both a curse and a blessing all rolled into one). Anyhow, this individual happens to be very easy on the eyes, as well as being possessed of a seemingly good personality to accompany the said good looks.
Although I have yet to share with this person the fact that I am bipolar, I have gone into fairly intricate detail as far as my penchant for collecting animals and the fact that I am messy beyond what the word usually conveys. Yet, he has taken these declarations in stride.
Here’s the thing. When I find myself with him, he seems quite eager to express his interest in me by caresses and gentle kisses to my head. He also expresses a very endearing hint of vulnerability by the occasional seeking of approval on my part regarding his clothing choices or various aspects of his looks. I find that very cute. However, once we are back in our respective spheres, he is not so good about staying in contact or expressing verbally his interest for me. He is also not a verbally expressive person in the flesh as well. Which for an obsessive analyzer of every minute detail, proves to be problematic, as I am spending an inordinate amount of time obsessing over whether or not he is actually interested in me, or whether he has been feeding me a mass of mechanical responses which he knows will get me hook, line, and sinker.
Or, whether, being a normal person, and considering the fact that we have only seen each other a total of four times, he is behaving in a totally rational manner by not texting me every other minute.
What I wouldn’t give to be like your average, emotionally balanced individual that would take these things in stride and have some measure of patience in letting things take their natural course, in their due time. *sigh* Instead, I am doomed to spend more time than is healthy obsessing over whether this guy is for real or falls into the player category of men.
Guess I will be filling the internet void in on any future developments. Wish me luck! I haven’t been involved in a meaningful relationship in a long time and sure could use an emotional support right about now!
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